Periodic Table of Heavy Metals

17 Feb

Periodic Table of Heavy Metals, metal bands

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Doomsday – S/T

24 Oct
Doomsday Band Nachtmystium

Goat’s head stew Sir?

Fancy getting pummeled into paste by some scabrous death-crust? Me too! Fancy that…

Doomsday pound away at you like a horny drunkard until you give in, squeal and enjoy it.

Then and only then, when you are slavering for more, do they finally let up and, having deflowered you, show you their atmospheric skillzzz.

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Earthburner – Stoned at Birth

17 Oct
Earthburner - Stoned at Birth

I don’t think babies should be allowed to smoke marijuana. They can’t roll their own for a start…

NOT the Kyuss rip-off you might expect with a bandname and EP title like that.

Instead we get satisfyingly fearsome crusty, sludgy hardcore-inflected metal that draws from the same wellspring that nourishes great bands like Black Breath and Trap Them.

While these Ohioans (is that even a word? Google says yes, so that’s good enough for me) certainly share traits with some popular beat combos du jour, their take on this sound feels their own.

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Baroness Bus Crash: John Dyer Baizley Speaks

2 Oct
Baroness Crash - John Baizely

Look closely…

This just came via email and is one of the most moving things I have ever read:

On August 15th, just before 11 am, Baroness and our crew were involved in a very bad crash while on tour. The brakes in our bus failed completely, on a notoriously dangerous, incredibly steep (12% grade) hill in Monkton Combe, UK, on our way from a show Bristol to another show in Southampton. Our bus went entirely out of control, and we had no choice other than hitting a perpendicular guardrail going about 50 mph at the bottom of the hill. The guard rail and the 20 or 30 trees we ploughed through snapped like matchsticks as we went fully airborne and fell down more than 30 feet off of a viaduct to the ground below. Half of the band/crew were asleep while we lost our brakes, and a few of us were awake and sitting in the rear lounge. I was up front with our driver, and I bore witness to the entire thing. Once our brakes failed, the bus could do little more than gain momentum and plummet down the hill. There was nothing anyone on the bus could have done during our descent to avoid the crash, and no one, the local residents, the police or any of us can believe we survived the impact.

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Inter Arma: Destroyer EP

1 Oct
Inter Arma - Destroyer

Are these your balls sir?

Inter Arma are the best band you’ve never heard. Debut Sundown snuck up on me and wrapped a tire iron around my head to snaffle third spot in my 2010 end of year list with its amalgam of black metal, sludge and NWOBHM.

Typically when I fall in love a record, any follow-up will struggle fill its shoes.

On their Relapse Records debut EP, Inter Arma do more than buck that trend, they torpedo that motherfucker out of the water.

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New The Sword Song Stream: Veil of Isis

25 Sep
The Sword - Veil of Isis

Oops, my beaver is aflame. Please call the fire brigade.

I’ve squirted a fair dollop of love on the upturned faces of stoner doomsters The Sword over the life of this blog.

Warp Riders was in my Top 10 of 2010 with sharp-edged thrash riffage lacing their stoner/doom and a sweet space opera theme.

I’ll always be fond of their debut Age of Winters (2006) for helping lead me back to the path of metal even if they couldn’t get more on Ozzy and Tony’s dicks if they set up their amps in the Sabs’ pants .

We’ll gloss over the shit in the sandwich that is their dreary middle record Gods of the Earth.

BUT I think I might be getting a bit bored of their shtick. New song Veil of Isis – streaming over at that steaming turd of a mag Rolling Stone (!) – is just a bit by-the-numbers.

It’s by no means bad but the riffs feel recycled from The Sword rather than just from Sabbath while the vocal melody also seems mighty familiar.

It’s reasonably catchy and shit, I prefer it to fucking Lamb of God or some other drivel, but it feels a bit safe, yaknowworrimean?

You Need to Hear: Samothrace

19 Sep
Samothrace - Life's Trade

Pop-punk this ain’t kids

Samothrace may have just released their sophomore record Reverence to Stone. Yet this dispatch from Monkey Towers, while Samothracian in subject, will barely mention that.

Instead, my thoughts about that record’s 2008 predecessor, Life’s Trade – hands down one of the best records I have heard this year – have finally coagulated.

So, in the absence of my having got my arse in gear to properly digest the new one, you can read Sawtooth Wave‘s take on it, if that’s what you are after.

Otherwise, let’s see if we can get a handle on an album that takes 47 minutes to unravel  four songs.

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